Saturday, 19 March 2011


A SHORT JOURNEY….                                    

 I am Mika, an ordinary teenage girl who lived in Korea and this is my story.
 It was all started with my passion towards music, entertainment and film. I adore each and every Korean actress for my whole entire life and wishing that someday I can be exactly like them- living in a good life thus, being spotlight in the industry. Growing up without parents had made me to be a tough young girl although sometimes I could feel the emptiness of being alone. I might be born in a well-educated family, owning some family business but frankly, I’m not interested… I want to be someone! I want to be known! I want to be a singer or an actress! That was what I wish for! Granddad, a person who raised me since I lose my parents clearly didn’t agree with my dream… He told me that one day I have to take over the family business as I’m the only heir he had. I was too stubborn at that time, refused to listen even a single word from him. I told him that I’m big enough to make my own decision and created my own life. I still remember his face was filled with depression and for the first time I saw his eyes were shaded with tears. What could a girl do at that time? Well, I explained my passion towards my dreams to him, hoping that he’ll understand. I knew granddad wouldn’t bear to see me in such pathetic condition and so, he let me to fulfil my dreams.

  For the first step, I joined an audition hold by SM Entertainment, the most successful company in Korea in introducing new artists. Once a person was in contract with SME, surely the person will be fame in no time! In other words, SME was really good in dealing with the market demands and they’re surely had strategy on making money! I read on one article in the newspaper that SME will be searching for talented girls around Korea to be their next girls’ group. I was not sure whether I had the talent or not but, I just tried my luck. I went to the audition, hoping that I can seek a chance to be the girl they’re looking for. What can you expect from a girl like me? A miracle?  It’s more than miracle, it was destiny! I was destined to be the one I want to be. Yes! I got it! I got it! I was lucky enough to be selected among hundreds of girls who went for the same reason.

   A few days after the selection, I moved to SME dorm and became a trainee. I was not alone as together with me were 2 other girls, Minna and Young Mi. We were the new trainees for SME’s new girl group, Girls’ Destiny. At first, we weren’t close to each other but as the time passing by, we were like bestfriends or should I say, more to sisters? Minna was a cheerful girl. She loved to laugh a lot and made all the funny stuff while Young Mi tended to watch the members’ behaviour and laugh out loud! Me? I just love to smile and hug them from their back or even asked them to carry me with piggyback style… ^^ It was wonderful when we were trainees… all the memories of being trainees were too priceless to be forgotten!

  Finally, after 3 years being trainees, we then debuted as singers. We were given our own dorm which was next to Super Junior’s dorm-our sunbaenim (seniors in Korea)… Frankly speaking, we were never dreamt to be that close to Super Junior! For God sake,, I adore them since their debut!!! They were like the most wanted, famous and talented group in the world! They had zillion of fans around this planet, including America, Arab Saudi, Malaysia, Italy, etc… Oh my Goodness!  I had never include this in my dream but it was an extra gift to know all the Super Junior’s members better.  Our first debut was on 15th May 2008 and Young Mi was selected to be the group leader as she’s the oldest. Well, at first we could only gain a few fans but a week later, press kept promoting us and people started to hear our songs, hence realise our existence. We then became talking stuff and usually been invited to many shows such as Strong Heart, Star Golden Bell, etc… Before we attend the shows, all Super Junior oppa(brother) had given us some useful advices.
1.       Be friendly during the show.
2.       Make some jokes so that people won’t feel boring.
3.       Never use harsh words or talk bad about other people.
4.       Smile.
Until now, I still use all their advices. Thanks to them we were loved by many people not only in Korea but also in other Asian countries. Although we were not as famous as them, but we were glad because it was really a good start for new comers like us. FATE-that was what we called our fans… FATE was really being supportive in our carrier. We became an issue when we managed to conquer many fans in just a few weeks because there had been no other group idols able to do so! We were so proud! Our debut song, “Live up Your Dreams” were really ‘something’… A month later, the song won in Music Bank… It was our first victory in any competition!

  Most importantly, we owe SJ oppa a lot. They were the one who were behind us all this while. They thought us to communicate well with audience, shared their experiences being in the industry and they thought us to dance better. Each day, our relationship with all SJ members became much closer. As our subanim, we respect them. We usually spent our leisure together with SJ and had fun with them. Mostly, we spent our time at the beach. We brought some food like snacks, candies, bread, waffle or even sweet corn and ate like we were starving, imagine that we were stranded in an island which made  us haven’t eat for a few days. ^^ Eunhyuk oppa was the one who came out with the idea and he was also the one who ate a lot.. LOL!! Eunhyuk oppa was known to be “The Eater Master” although his physical appearance was not as what the others called him, indeed he was quite skinny! He was surely had a big appetite.. >.< Unlike me, I prefer to be a cooker for them, baking their favourite Chocolate Cake. Young mi really loved the cake! A lot!! She ate the whole cake like there would be no tomorrow! On the other hand, the cheerful member in our group, Minna, loved to watch fireworks. Hence, we usually burnt fireworks whenever we went to the beach. She will then jumped and performed her “happy dance”… It was a beautiful scenery at the night time while having a great meal with the group members and SJ oppa.

  Seriously, with all the love and attention given by our subanim, I got crushed with one of the Super Junior’s members- Kim Heechul. He was a gentle young man, always looking sweet with his dimple. Although he loved to tease all of us but we never annoyed with him, like wise he was the teaser and the joker among us. Heechul oppa used to call me “The Smiling Princess” as it was my habit to smile all the time. The name spread widely among our fans and they too kept calling me Smiling Princess. Know what, I kinda like with that… the main reason- Heechul was the one who gave me such wonderful name! ^^ E.L.F (SJ fans) and FATE were happy with our close friendship. Super Junior and Girls’ Destiny were like close buddies and as for that reason, I was too scared to declare my love towards him. Afraid to ruin our good friendship and as for that, I just kept my feeling deep inside of me. I tried to act normal in front of him but I really can’t! My heart kept beating whenever I saw him! His smile had really killed me! His attention towards me had melted my heart! All of these weird feeling started when he tried to defends me from being bullied by Leeteuk and Sungmin oppa. The way he tried to protect me at that time had open my eyes that he really cared about me. But, I didn’t want to think much about that. At that time, I thought maybe he treated me good as he felt like I was just one of his dongsang (sister). So, I told myself to stop dreaming because there would be no way he could possibly love me the way I do….

   People usually say, “laughter and tears are a part of life”. What do you think? Is it really true? In my story, it really happened. The day when I feel the world is against me has come at last.

   It was a fine Saturday night, around 9 pm. I was in our dorm, baking Young Mi’s favourite cake as we were about to celebrate our 4th anniversary together debuted as a group. Meanwhile, Young Mi and Minna were out to shop to buy some groceries to make Kimchi (Korean food) which we decided to bring to the beach tomorrow. I was so excited to celebrate our anniversary as it reflects our hardship all this while but yet, we could stand still as one! As I was too happy, I could sing R.Kelly’s song, “I Believe I Can Fly”… oh, Minna loved that song! She sang it all the time, not forget to mention she also sang it while taking her bath!! Hahaha… Silly Minna…

   While I tried to give the final touch for the cake, I got a call from our manager, Park Yong Ri. The call really had changed my entire life! I can still remember his voice that night, telling me the unexpected news. Even now, I still can’t believe if it’s really happen to me! Why? Why it should be me??!!!

   Without wasting my time, I knocked SJ’s dorm as hard as I could. I cried out Heechul’s name. I was just like insane at that time! As Heechul oppa opened the door, he was looking puzzle at me. Not only him but all SJ oppa were staring at me curiously. My tears started to flow… I can’t stand the pain anymore. I hug Heechul tightly, borrowing some strength. He tried to make me calm and asked me what had happened. Finally, I spoke up. I told them the exact story that President Yong Ri told me. Minna and Young Mi were met with accident on their way to the shop!!! I cried out loud and I guess the whole dorm could hear me. I was too scared to lose them as I have had the same incident whereby I lost my parents in the car accident!! Heechul couldn’t bear to see me crying and so he took me to the hospital to check on their condition. On our way, I kept praying, hoping for their safety. “Please Minna, please Young Mi, please be safe. Tomorrow is our 4th anniversary. I’ve baked your favourite cake, Young Mi. If both of you are safe, I promise I’ll do anything! I will cook for you, I will take you for meals or anything that you want but please promise me one thing- be safe! Dear god, please don’t take them away from me…” Those words were my hope at that time. I thought nothing but them. In my head I tried to think positive but my heart wasn’t strong enough to do so. All our memories started to come back. The memory when we were trainees, the day when we went to the beach and I could even hear their laughter. Once again, I cried. Heechul oppa was speechless. Only my cry filled the atmosphere in the car….

   As soon as we reached the hospital, Heechul oppa grabbed my hand and hold it tightly like he never want to let it go. And as for me, I just did the same. My head were only focusing on Minna and Young Mi, no space were available for “love” thought…  The hospital was crowded with media and press, showing that they reached there much earlier than us. When they saw I was coming with Heechul, they started to surround both of us, asking for the explanation of what had happened to Minna and Young Mi. How could I give the answers instead I didn’t even know their condition!!! Heechul oppa tried to handle the situation calmly. He told them not to force me as I was in emotionally unstable. While he was dealing with the media, suddenly I saw two bodies covered with blood, passing by. Those bodies seemed pathetic with so many tubes around them, the nurses were rushing here and there- trying to save the patients. Surprisingly, I saw someone I knew, our manager- President Park, near with the bodies. Wait! Was the body’s Minna and the other one was Young Mi? NO!!! THEY COULDN’T BE THEM!!! But why President Park was crying looking at those? I almost fainted, my legs couldn’t stand straight. Heechul looked at me with sorrow look and kept saying that everything gonna be fine as long as he with me.

  Heechul took me near the bodies. I hold his hand as tight as I could. I was afraid to accept the fact that those bodies were my friends! Seriously, the bodies looked like there won’t be hope for them to survive!!! They looked extremely terrible! With all the blood and their skins were mostly tattered, I myself couldn’t even recognise the bodies. At last, President Park spoke, answering all the questions which I couldn’t answer by myself. What a surprise when he told me that those bodies belong to Minna and Young Mi. Those words had made me felt like I was shot by bullets repeatedly with no mercy! I cried and shouted their names, hoping that they would hear me but it was useless. I saw no single movement. They were still lying stiffly. For the first time in my life, I kneeled in front of the doctor, begging him to save my dear friends… I kneeled and cried, cried like it was the end of the world. My sudden action had stolen the media’s attention. Each and every cameras were focusing on me. They took my pictures, recorded my scene but I didn’t care about it. All I cared was my friends. The doctor kept saying he’s sorry for unable to save my friends as they were badly injured but I still couldn’t believe him, to me, he wasn’t tried his best!!!! “No!! Minna and Young Mi are not dead! You haven’t give your best to save them! Now, stop standing there and go treat them!” I shouted to the doctor. But all he could say was “I’m sorry”… Then, Heechul grabbed me and lend me his shoulder. I cried, shouted for their names and cried again. Like the others would do, Heechul hug me and kissed my forehead, hoping that that could calm me down. When I realised that I couldn’t see them anymore from that moment, I felt like I lose my strength, I lose my hope and I lose my sisters. I couldn’t see their smile again, I couldn’t feel their love again, I couldn’t laugh with them again, I will be nothing without them! I almost fainted but the warmness of Heechul’s body had awaken me, giving me some sort of strength to stand still.

   What does Girls’ Destiny means without them? Girls’ Destiny were made to be 3 girls not only one. How am I going to face this world without my sisters? They were made for me and we were destined to be together. Since the incident, I lost my smile. There was no smile on my face, not a single one! And as for that, people started calling me, “The Smiling Princess Has Lose Her Smile”. I didn’t care much about all that stuff. At that time I just didn’t have much bravery to smile. Then, I told Heechul oppa that I didn’t want to involve with music industry anymore. I was thinking to take over my family business and get rid from the entertainment world. But, Heechul disagreed with me. He wanted me to stay and went solo. He told me that I should think thoroughly. So, he asked me for a few days to think about it.

   Now, in the present time, I start to move on with my life. I am now taking over our business but at the same time, I’m an actress. From a singer, I become an actress, still in this industry. Thanks to Heechul who are always be beside me in facing with the hardest situation in my life. He was the one who supported me all this while. A few weeks after the incident, Heechul declared his love towards me. He told me that he loved me since the past few years but he didn’t want to tell me, for the same reason like mine- afraid to ruin our friendship. Seeing me crying thinking of Minna and Young Mi had made him suffering and for that reason, he had the bravery to tell me his feeling, hoping that he could take care of me and bringing back my smile. For the first time, I smiled again. Heechul is now my sunshine. He shines my life with his tender love… protect me from being hurt…all I can hope right now is that I won’t lose my sunshine again. I have had enough dealing with darkness, but like people say, our life is just a short journey…..

Thanks for reading :) Next entry maybe? ^^

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to give your thoughts